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Merlin, your problem is that...
Merlin, your problem is that you don’t have a repertoire of enough generic nicknames! Here are some more you can drag out: Dude, Buddy, Captain, Admiral, General, Bucko, Partner (or ‘Pardner’), Cardinal, Friend, Pal, Old Man, Boss, Pops, Dad, Daddy-O, Casanova, Fuzzy (for a bald guy), Buddha, Big Guy, Shorty (for a tall guy), Slim (for a fat guy), Hawkeye (for a guy with thick glasses), Tough Guy, Brainiac (for a nerd), Mr. Wizard, Arnold (for a musclebound guy), etc. Just build on this list and you’ll never have to use a real name again!