Fresh Starts & Modest Changes

Jason DeFillippo's 90-day program: "Just Start"

Merlin — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:55:04 -0400

My pal, Jason DeFillippo, has recently begun a project to clean up his act over the next ninety days. In preparation for hitting the big three-six, he's planning to tidy up, lose some weight, and start shedding the nonsense, clutter, and distractions in his life. Go, man, go.

Personally, I've had mixed to terrible results with things where I tried to invert too many habits at one time, but Jason is nothing if not a hardass and a man of firm resolve. I'm looking forward to watching his progress over the summer and learning what I can from him.

I'll tell you one thing we agree on; it's all about getting started:

I saw this over at Boris’s blog the other day and it really triggered something in me. I tend to think a lot about project and plans. I think about them so much I get paralyzed with option paralysis and stuff doesn’t get done. In an attempt to do something right the first time through it invariable almost never gets done at all. Thinking something through is an important part of the creative process but it means dick if you don’t ever start. And if you don’t start you don’t finish.

Good on 'ya, Jason. Rock it.

Here are Jason's "90 Days" posts so far:

Don’t think, just start… - "I’ll be documenting my progress as daily as possible for the next 90 days, hopefully beyond, sharing what I’m trying and how it works out so maybe some other folks will get inspired to get the hell out of their doldrums and just, ya know, start!"
Day 1. Reduction - "But the point is if I get rid of things that I’d worry about then I don’t have to worry if something should happen to them."
Weigh in #1 - "Youch."
Day 2: This Party Sucks! - "What was I thinking? I’ve schlepped this goddamn button around the country for 10 goddamn years! "
Day 2: Round-up - "You can read all the books you want and get all the theory you can swallow but sometimes you just have to put the book down and walk out the front door."

”Jason DeFillippo's 90-day program: "Just Start"” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on June 18, 2007. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

Looking back at our fresh starts & modest changes

Merlin — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:43:18 -0500

Fresh Starts & Modest Changes

Earlier this month I began a short series of posts and podcasts called "Fresh Starts & Modest Changes." It was meant as an antidote to the pressure that many of us feel to upend our lives with poorly thought-out new year's resolutions. The idea was to get you thinking less about the unlikelihood of success in mounting sudden, ginormous change, and more to suggest some subtle adjustments for making life just a bit more pleasant, productive, and your own. Tweaking as you go, instead of trying to treat your mind like some kind of a microwavable corn dog.

We're getting to the end of the month now, so I wanted to wrap up with a few thoughts on the value of small changes, but I'd also love to hear about any of your own fresh starts and modest changes -- particularly hoping you'll share the ways you've had the best success keeping on track with the adjustments you've chosen to make.

Why small? Why modest?

As I said in the inaugural podcast of the series, there are most certainly excellent candidates for huge and immediate change in life. Abusive relationships, destructive behavior, and such like are absolutely worth abandoning as quickly as you can, to be sure. But for most of us, it's tricky to flip a switch and suddenly decide to be someone substantially different from who we have been for years.

Throughout this month, a wonderful quote from Walden has been turning over in my head:

I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes. If there is not a new man, how can the new clothes be made to fit? If you have any enterprise before you, try it in your old clothes. All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. Perhaps we should never procure a new suit, however ragged or dirty the old, until we have so conducted, so enterprised or sailed in some way, that we feel like new men in the old, and that to retain it would be like keeping new wine in old bottles. Our moulting season, like that of the fowls, must be a crisis in our lives.

So just as, in this instance, new clothes can be seen as a fancy uniform that won't produce in its wearer the skills, mind, or experience for their intended vocation, our new year's resolutions usually leave us feeling like a chump and a failure.

What a mess.

The trick inside the trick

The point, as ever, is that change is not to be found in the play-acting and sense of personal revolution that the resolution -- good-natured as its intention may be -- demands of us. The real cipher is to just get into the habit of noticing the small things that might bring about outsized improvements in our lives.

Have you ever put up with a squeaky door for years and then one day, for whatever reason, suddenly found yourself grabbing the WD-40 and lubricating that particular nuisance out of your life? I have, and I'm here to tell you, it's awesome. You actually stand there wondering why you never had the presence of mind to affect such an improvement -- ridiculously trivial though its solution may be.

One occasional downside of human wiring is our uncanny ability to tune out anything that's (apparently) unchanging, consistent, or just not horribly broken. Sure, we'd fix the new hole in our roof the second it started pissing rain on our plasma TV, but we'll completely space out an inefficiency in our daily email ritual that silently takes an hour out of every working day. We'd call HR if our check didn't arrive on time, but most of us might never think to try drinking one less latté a week (even though it might, over a year, amount to the equivalent of a day's pay).

My point is that we're not particularly well suited to addressing problems until they've become big problems. And that's the point at which we tend to start gnashing teeth, rending garments, and promising the sky that we'll Be Good if we can just get one more chance to get it right. And, yeah, sometimes we choose New Year's Eve to make that case to ourselves and to the sky, and, man, is that ever a crummy night to try and suddenly realign your life.

Smaller smaller

When we keep it small, we're telling ourselves that the problem's not just us and the problem's not just the world. We're admitting that there are simply times when, for whatever reason, our heads get out of the game for a while, and that by allowing ourselves to gently incline back toward what's really in front of us, we may be able to oil a few of the squeaky doors in our lives. We're chucking ourselves on the arm and reminding ourselves we're basically okay and just needing to occasionally wake up and see the stuff that needs our intervention. We're putting the puppy back on the paper.

So, how'd you do?

I'm really interested to hear how your January went. Did you make resolutions, and if so, did you keep them? Did you try any fresh starts or modest changes for yourself? What's worked so far to keep you mindful of the desire to make the little tweaks each day?

Posts: "Fresh Starts & Modest Changes"

”Looking back at our fresh starts & modest changes” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 30, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

43F Podcast: Modest Change: Honor Thy Energy

Merlin — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 19:26:57 -0500

Modest Change: Honor Thy Energy

43folders.com - Learn the times you're most energetic and productive, and adjust your schedule and your work accordingly. Also: please just let the teenagers sleep, for God's sake.

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More at Odeo.com...

”43F Podcast: Modest Change: Honor Thy Energy” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 23, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

Fresh Start: Replace one project

Merlin — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 08:34:10 -0500

If you don't have one already, draw up a list of all the projects that are on your radar screen right now -- all the active or dormant projects that will require some kind of task work (or even just mental bandwidth) by the end of this month. If you're doing Getting Things Done, you probably already have a list like this, but it might not hurt to just grab a piece of paper and do a fresh "mini-dump" of all the obligations and outcomes that are squatting on the edges of your brainpan.

Study your list, and think about the real value of everything you've theoretically undertaken. Any of these apply...?

something I feel obligated to do (but have no real interest in ever doing)
something that stalled long ago and could easily be removed
something that takes massive amounts of fuss for consistently annoying results
something I haven't seriously thought through yet
something potentially interesting that's very poorly defined right now
something I can't really do anything about for a while
something that's been on my lists so long that I just keep it out of sentimentality
something I could, quite frankly, just not care any less about

Got it? Good. Surprised at how much you actually have on your mind? You ain't alone, sister.

Okay, so now set that list down, and grab a fresh sheet of paper.

Without thinking too deeply about it, start jotting down all the things you'd love to be starting right now. Be reasonable; this isn't about fantasies of unassisted flight or basement alchemy so much as garden-variety growth, development, and fun. What are the things that, given the proper focus and time, would bring you the most satisfaction for the time you spend on it -- or could serve as a bridge to achieving higher aspirations you've been smacking down because you're "too busy" with other stuff?

Good candidates:

fixing a small, stupid problem that's been driving you nuts for years
finding ways to reconnect with people who are important to you
getting help to start a group or even a new business that would do Good Things
learning a skill -- like a programming language or accreditation -- that will give you more career flexibility
volunteering someplace important to you, taking a dance class or learning CPR or sign language
planning baby steps in the direction of some Huge Life Change™ that you've always been curious about exploring

Bottom line? Find something that gets you really excited and makes you feel energized and hopeful about the prospects in your life. Pretend for a moment that you can finally scratch an itch that you may never have acknowledged until now.

Now the fun part. Officially pick one project from Column A to set aside and one from Column B to start. Excise something stupid, and undertake something cool. Go through whatever motions in your job (or "your system") that would shelve or delete the oldie and promote or highlight the new one. Yay! New project. You win.

So, the point here is not to go out and quit your job, join a socialist mime troupe, or start dressing like a hippie -- the trick is just to make a couple conscious decisions about using your time for the things that really matter to you. And to start becoming more aware of the time you (maybe unconsciously) spend thinking about dumb, pedestrian, and ultimately unnecessary stuff. (Hint: for most of us, the answer to that is "a LOT.")

I'd be surprised if you didn't find at least one crufty project you can get off your plate and out of your mind without incident; and I'd be just as surprised if you couldn't replace the space on that shelf with something much cooler that brings fresh energy and perspective to everything you're working on right now. Make the time to do something that's worthy of your attention.

”Fresh Start: Replace one project” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 09, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

Modest Change: Learn the qualified "yes"

Merlin — Fri, 06 Jan 2006 04:53:16 -0500

This is something I've mentioned before, but since it's worked so well for me I think it deserves a place in our Modest Changes series.

I've had a habit over the years of allowing myself to get so busy that "no" becomes my default answer to practically every question -- this has been especially true when it came to helping with friends' projects or doing non-paying work for worthy causes.

Obviously, in many ways it's healthy to learn how to say no; you avoid over-committing by ensuring that you've thought through all the work on your plate and then never take on new commitments without knowing there's room to spare.

The good news is that there's actually an even healthier middle path between "Sure. Anything you say" and "No way. Never." I call it "the qualified 'yes.'"

When people ask me to start a new project of any kind -- and assuming it is something I'm actually interested in doing -- I try to set reasonable boundaries and expectations on how actively I'll participate as well as how much time and availability I can afford to spend on it. The key for me has been to set fairly hard numerical caps on time, access, and the amount of attention that I want to contribute -- and to do so early in the life of the relationship. Here's the way I put it in that post from December 2004:

So, what used to be “Sure, I’ll do your web site” is now more often “Sure, I’ll give you 10 hours and 3 calls over the next month to use however you want.” If nothing else, it helps everyone understand that time is a precious commodity, but it also gets me out of being the de facto manager for every aspect of a project I touch.

I'll also share that this "yes, but..." approach also works great for honest-to-God work, as well. It means that my client and I have a fair and honest understanding of how quickly and often we can expect each others' full attention as well as being able to generate a hard number to guide when the clock is starting to run down. You wouldn't believe how priorities re-align when people see that 80% of the time or budget is gone.

I realize this approach won't work for everyone in all situations (I think I'll go ahead and get that tattooed on my forehead), but I've found it to be a really valuable way to stay involved in the things I enjoy without promising the world to anyone who asks for it.

”Modest Change: Learn the qualified "yes"” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 06, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

Modest Change: Cancel something

Merlin — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 08:22:56 -0500

Our first modest change is to cancel something.

Think about all the things you've invited or allowed into your life in the past couple years (check all that apply):

RSS feeds (Oh Lord, RSS feeds)
net-based mailing lists
Broadband (or broader band) net access
Netflix
TiVo
Cable/Satellite TV
Magazine and newspaper subscriptions
Anything of the Month Club
those multi-person online games you kids like so damned much
always-on tech (like Blackberries)

Doubtless, many of these things bring you joy, relieve boredom, or even may be required for your work, but what do they all have in common? They are each ruthless at constantly replenishing the kanban of your attention with "stuff" that has to be dealt with. Having invited these things (and even paid for a few of them) you may feel obligated to consume them all to the point where acquiring, processing, and devouring them becomes like an inefficient part-time job. Maybe that's good. For me, it's become troubling.

Example: For a year we subscribed to my favorite magazine, The Atlantic. Where I used to love leafing through The Atlantic on the newsstand and then buying a copy to bring home, by the time the second home-delivered issue appeared, I was already jaded. "Feh. Another thing I have to read." And onto "The Pile" it would go. I'd taken something I occasionally did on purpose and for pure fun and turned it into an experience with all the anticipation and thrill of opening the gas bill.

I'm not suggesting you become a hermit or an ascetic or move into a mountaintop cave; just think about canceling one thing today. If you can't imagine life without TiVo (and I confess I cannot), try cutting a few shows off your subscription list. How about unsubscribing from a few RSS feeds? Maybe change your newspaper to weekends only. Switch to basic cable for a month. Take a two-week break from 43 Folders. It's cool; we'll be fine.

The important thing is to find at least one thing that's become a noise generator, time sink, or attention sieve, and be rid of it. The hack isn't how big a change it brings in your life -- remember these are modest changes -- it just matters that you mindfully elect to turn something off for a little while. That little scrap of time or attention you gain back is then well and truly your own.

”Modest Change: Cancel something” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 05, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

Fresh Start: The Email DMZ

Merlin — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 09:48:43 -0500

Like a lot of the best fresh starts, this one's a total psych-out; also, like most of the best ones, you won't believe how well it works until you actually try it for yourself.

Open your email program and create a new folder called "DMZ"
Go to your email inbox and Select All
- You might alternatively choose all email older than n days
Drag those emails from your inbox into the DMZ folder
Go, and sin no more.

Is this the email equivalent of covering your ears and singing loudly? Not really. You still need to deal with all the emails in your DMZ folder (personally I'd recommended "archiving" anything older than 21 days), but, most importantly, you're drawing a line in the sand. You're saying "Okay, starting this minute I quit letting 'being behind' stop me from making good decisions now and going forward." Hence the "fresh start." Get it? Tomorrow morning you arrive to a spanking fresh inbox and the chance to start anew. Of course, using your fresh start to develop an actual new habit is entirely optional, but it's certainly more reachable than ever now, right? Right.

Basically, this works at accomplishing the one thing you need more than anything else right now: to stop digging.

Think about it: how much stuff in your life has gotten unmanageable simply because you decided at some point that you were too behind to ever make a difference? More than anything you need a way to recover these projects from the brink -- to find the handle that lets you stop making it worse and start seeing a way back toward daylight.

(On another day, I'll tell you my super-secret way of paring down the biggest DMZ folder to empty in 15 minutes.)

”Fresh Start: The Email DMZ” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 04, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"

43F Podcast: Fresh Starts & Modest Changes

Merlin — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 04:47:26 -0500

43 Folders - As an antidote to the surfeit of New Year's resolutions, we'll be looking into smaller, less dramatic adjustments (that don't require a drunken promise or a pointy paper hat). Our series starts Wednesday.

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”43F Podcast: Fresh Starts & Modest Changes” was written by Merlin Mann for 43Folders.com and was originally posted on January 04, 2006. Except as noted, it's ©2010 Merlin Mann and licensed for reuse under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0. "Why a footer?"