Son: Dad, Jessica keeps copying me.

Natural Response: Jessica, leave your brother alone.

T’ai Chi Response: Does she? Cool! (followed by Son laughing)

HAHAHAHa I can’t count how many times I was offered help and I shushed it aside. I try to accept it every time, now.

Aikido (the martial art) has a similar principal of harmonizing with aggressive energy rather than fighting it. It is often possible to avoid harm (to both parties) by redirecting troublesome energy after first connecting with it.

I’ve used a similar approach with my kids. In their case it’s a matter of gently guiding them and being patient for those times when they are doing good [literally—I don’t mean “doing well”] and then joining with their energy to encourage them.

And, anyway, doing kitchen work along with my boys is a joy to me. Although it can slow things down it is so worth it. They get a kick out of it (for as long as they stay interested) and I enjoy the time together.

I just wrote a similar post. I taught my kids to use scissors and the stairs. I also have my kids help me in the kitchen all the time. Teaching them to wash their hands after cracking eggs. It’s so much better to have them know the right way.

Teach Don’t Protect

I’m not a parent, but I was a kid on whom this technique was used about forty years ago, by a very savvy mother and grandmother.

I have wonderful memories of helping them in the kitchen when I was a little boy (trust me, they will remember this happily)… and it nurtured a lifelong love of cooking for me, something I do with genuine pleasure for friends and loved ones to this day. My wife thanks my mom for this every time she sees her. :-)

…you seem to do this every minute of your life. It usually only takes a few years of experience to figure it out :)

My son is 6 years old now, and this is a tool I use all the time. I enjoy working on my house and car, and I finally realized about two years ago that it was far easier to teach my son the names of the tools and have him help me, instead of get ticked off that he had his hands in the tool box.

Now he is Daddy’s little helper, and the time we spend together is great. My job is easier when I don’t have to get out from under the car for a screwdriver, and he really enjoys helping, and I think more than that the idea of being productive.

I see parents who just yell at their kids every time they get close to something think is dangerous. That is no way to raise children.

Sometimes it works out strangely though (cute kid story warning). We took my son home to his first Christmas in America this year. My mom was making Christmas cookies, and he was helping. He kept using the cookie cutter shaped like a cross. We go to church a few times a year, if that, but my mom though he was really religious because he kept going back to the cross shaped cutter.

When my mom finally tried to get it away from him for good, he said, ‘No grandma…Sword! Sword!’, and swung the cutter around in the air, holding it form the short end.

I always suspected that Tom Sawyer was a Shaolin master.

Just this morning I was in the kitchen with my three kids - 14, 12, 8 - talking about taking a vacation. My husband and I always wanted to go to Yap. The kids had a ton of questions. Suddenly they’re all huddled around the computer. You know how that goes. ‘No, go here,’ etc. There’s enough computers for everyone so I sent them off to explore a vacation for all of us in Yap…airfare, hotel, etc. Then I made breakfast - alone : ) When breakfast was ready…they all came back to the kitchen and we all know a little bit more about Yap (stone money…did you know?) Now they’re eager to get back at the itinerary making. Off-season, scuba lessons, all sorts of stuff coming up. Didn’t even know I knew martial arts…kitchen master.

Father of a 6 and 3 year old boys.

A year ago, we stopped by the local Ikea and picked a dozen or so plastic kid plates, cups and silverware. We put all this in a cabinet that is just the kids. Now before each meal the kids pick out and set the table… if they are thirsty they get their own cup and get up on the stool to fill it at the sink. When not eating they use it in pretend play… you should see my three year old wash his dishes which is one of his favorite games now. A sense ownership and helping out in the kitchen has made two very happy kids and some content parents.

The wife and I eat off our normal plates but lately we’ve found the plastic plates to often be a better size and more fun.

Best part is that it is cheap, good quality plastic dinnerware that I know if I have to replace or add to, I can easily buy more from Ikea. One very important note, make sure you get TWO of every color so both kids can alway have matching dinnerware…

• Steve

A good strategy and I use something similar, though I have one son who is utterly trustworthy with sharp knives (as of 5 years old) but his older brother is too impulsive and scatter-brained. I do add a condition: permission to help me in the kitchen is conditional on not only doing as they are told but NOT doing things I have NOT told them they could do….

My mom did this all the time. If she was making cookies I’d be on “counter patrol,” responsible for cleaning up (usually by eating) any dough that flew out of the bowl while she was mixing. I always got to help with measuring (great for practicing number recognition and fractions) and with cleaning up.

If she was making something more complex she’d whip up a batch of homemade play dough and set aside a portion of the counter for me to “cook.” In retrospect, this worked because I really just wanted to be close to my mom and feel like we were working on something together.

Another tip: one of my friends stocked up on the safety knives that are sold for pumpkin carving around Halloween time. She’s using it to help her little one develop knife skills before she hands him a super-sharp knife. The added bonus is that he’s far more willing to eat his veggies when he helped prepare them.

Yes, this is the best way to handle the unending energy of a toddler! I blogged about this a year ago when my daughter was 3 (link).

The “Kid-fu” is strong in this one.

I like the idea of the dull pumpkin knives to help us with. Her own toy knives are a little dirty ;)

Our 3.5 year-old girl now loves to help us cook. We use the microwave to teach her numbers (do other preschoolers understand ZERO yet? Ours does!)

We’d love to incorporate more of these as we figure them out.