Son: Dad, Jessica keeps copying me.

Natural Response: Jessica, leave your brother alone.

T’ai Chi Response: Does she? Cool! (followed by Son laughing)

HAHAHAHa I can’t count how many times I was offered help and I shushed it aside. I try to accept it every time, now.

Aikido (the martial art) has a similar principal of harmonizing with aggressive energy rather than fighting it. It is often possible to avoid harm (to both parties) by redirecting troublesome energy after first connecting with it.

I’ve used a similar approach with my kids. In their case it’s a matter of gently guiding them and being patient for those times when they are doing good [literally—I don’t mean “doing well”] and then joining with their energy to encourage them.

And, anyway, doing kitchen work along with my boys is a joy to me. Although it can slow things down it is so worth it. They get a kick out of it (for as long as they stay interested) and I enjoy the time together.

I just wrote a similar post. I taught my kids to use scissors and the stairs. I also have my kids help me in the kitchen all the time. Teaching them to wash their hands after cracking eggs. It’s so much better to have them know the right way.

Teach Don’t Protect

I’m not a parent, but I was a kid on whom this technique was used about forty years ago, by a very savvy mother and grandmother.

I have wonderful memories of helping them in the kitchen when I was a little boy (trust me, they will remember this happily)… and it nurtured a lifelong love of cooking for me, something I do with genuine pleasure for friends and loved ones to this day. My wife thanks my mom for this every time she sees her. :-)

…you seem to do this every minute of your life. It usually only takes a few years of experience to figure it out :)

My son is 6 years old now, and this is a tool I use all the time. I enjoy working on my house and car, and I finally realized about two years ago that it was far easier to teach my son the names of the tools and have him help me, instead of get ticked off that he had his hands in the tool box.

Now he is Daddy’s little helper, and the time we spend together is great. My job is easier when I don’t have to get out from under the car for a screwdriver, and he really enjoys helping, and I think more than that the idea of being productive.

I see parents who just yell at their kids every time they get close to something think is dangerous. That is no way to raise children.

Sometimes it works out strangely though (cute kid story warning). We took my son home to his first Christmas in America this year. My mom was making Christmas cookies, and he was helping. He kept using the cookie cutter shaped like a cross. We go to church a few times a year, if that, but my mom though he was really religious because he kept going back to the cross shaped cutter.

When my mom finally tried to get it away from him for good, he said, ‘No grandma…Sword! Sword!’, and swung the cutter around in the air, holding it form the short end.