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Time management for parents

The excellent news that Merlin is joining the parent flock prompted me to write this post. I became a parent about a year ago and I've been battling the "loss" of about 8-16 hours of every day to parenting and the unpredictability element that babies bring to your schedule. I'm interested in hearing what other parents have done in order to keep a grip on their schedule and their lives.

For me, the most extreme effect was that I decided to change jobs in order to do something I really like, despite having to take a 50% pay cut. I just can't afford to waste hours doing things that doesn't make me happy. I've also taken a few hints from Merlin and now carry a small note pad (sort of a hipster PDA) in my pocket at all times for capture purposes. I think my previous attempts at GTD has failed just because I havn't needed it enough. Now, I can't survive without it.

As for handling the unpredictability element of children, my wife and I have a system where we try to never replan the current day schedule but instead handle exceptions as far into the future as possible. This keeps our schedules reasonably stable.

What are your experiences?

Joe's picture

My top three tips

I'm a high-functioning guy who gets his kicks by crossing stuff off of a to-do list. So, when people who are thinking about having kids ask me how it impacted my life, I always tell them that you have to be prepared to:

1) be more ruthless at establishing priorities; realize that you have the same amount of time each day but a huge new priority that (hopefully) is at the top of the list

2) be willing to jettison anything from the bottom of your list of priorities to free up time for the family.

3) be flexible enough to wake up in the morning and say "I'm ok if I don't get a single thing done today". If you don't say this, your kid will get sick that day and have to stay home from school/day care, and you really won't get anything done, so you might as well come to terms with the variable of the unknown in advance. This was the single hardest thing for me to accomplish. I didn't know HOW not to be able to do something when I wanted to do it and to have to re-schedule it. I had never had to be flexible before.

In all, I don't set daily expectations for myself anymore. I still have my to-do list, it is prioritized, and I do things in order - I just don't set hard deadlines. Boy, I was never a huge procrastinator, but even if I had been, having a kid would have fixed that problem straight away. Because I don't feel like I can count on getting anything done on any one day, I do everything possible well in advance now (except for preparing for that seminar I'm giving tomorrow...I really should get back to that. Did I say I never procrastinate? Speaking of procrastinate, did you know that the word comes from the Latin "pro" (for) and "cras" (tomorrow)...)

Finally, although not advice, I always like to end on something positive: I found that while my time at home in the evenings and on weekends was spent more with family not getting things done, my multitasking abilities sky-rocketed once my daughter came along. I wound up compensating for not being as functional at home by being much more efficient at work (which my boss no doubt appreciated!) Having kids can be scary, in that it is a life-changing experience - if you feel, like I did, that what you do (your activities and interests) define you, then there will be a new you once your kids arrive - but if you embrace change and look for new opportunities, it will be a great time.

 
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