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43Folders.com is Merlin Mann’s website about finding the time and attention to do your best creative work.

Time management for parents

The excellent news that Merlin is joining the parent flock prompted me to write this post. I became a parent about a year ago and I’ve been battling the “loss” of about 8-16 hours of every day to parenting and the unpredictability element that babies bring to your schedule. I’m interested in hearing what other parents have done in order to keep a grip on their schedule and their lives.

For me, the most extreme effect was that I decided to change jobs in order to do something I really like, despite having to take a 50% pay cut. I just can’t afford to waste hours doing things that doesn’t make me happy. I’ve also taken a few hints from Merlin and now carry a small note pad (sort of a hipster PDA) in my pocket at all times for capture purposes. I think my previous attempts at GTD has failed just because I havn’t needed it enough. Now, I can’t survive without it.

As for handling the unpredictability element of children, my wife and I have a system where we try to never replan the current day schedule but instead handle exceptions as far into the future as possible. This keeps our schedules reasonably stable.

What are your experiences?

Brandon's picture

Get 'em on a schedule

I know that here in loosey-goosey San Francisco it’s not a universally accepted concept, but my wife and I made sure to get both kids on a schedule as soon as possible. It will never be as rigid and dependable as an Outlook calendar, but both of our boys (2.5 years and 11 months) responded well to the structure, and we have a general idea of when and how long we’ll be able to focus on things non-baby.

We both work outside the home (well, at least until the end of last month when my wife’s long-foreseen layoff finally came to fruition), so our weekday schedules weren’t generally subject to the needs of the wee ones. The challenge on weekends lies in the fact that our boys’ schedules don’t exactly line up. The reality is that the baby still needs a morning nap, and his older brother doesn’t. We look forward to the alignment that should happen in about six months.

If you’re working from home, don’t harbor any illusions about being a primary (or secondary) caregiver and also getting work done. Looking after a child is a full-time job that fills that time more intensely as they get older. It may seem doable with the infant who sleeps half the day, but that won’t last for long. For you to work, someone else needs to be in charge of the baby. Could be your partner, a nanny, or a daycare. It just can’t be you.

 
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The Podcast Feed

Inbox Zero

The original 43 Folders series looking at the skills, tools, and attitude needed to empty your email inbox — and then keep it that way. Don’t miss the free video of Merlin’s Inbox Zero presentation.

Making Time

3-part series on attention management for artists and makers. Read Bad Correspondence, The Job You Think You Have, and One Clear Line.