I had to laugh when you referred to the chaos of having a one year old - this is colloquial but appropriate -

'You aint seen nothin' yet.'

Once they pass 20 months (approximately) things really get interesting. They nap less, they are a lot harder distract and they are oh so mobile. I often looked over to find that my son had abandoned his current project that I hoped would occupy him for 15 - 20 minutes and find that at 18 months he had scaled the book case and latches on external doors because in the time it took me to pour juice into a sippy cup he was out the door. He also stopped taking naps a month or two after his second birthday (this is a sad day in a parents life). It is also a lot harder to run errands with them once they decide they prefer to walk.

Here are a few tips -

You need to pad your schedule with tantrum time, baby hid the keys time, and time for last minute diaper changes/explosions. You will need to begin attempting to leave the house about 20 minutes before you really need to leave.

If you give them attention when you first get home from work or before you start a project that will last for a while you will cut down on interruptions. Most of the time when your child is requesting,er, demanding something every 5 minutes or is repeatedly doing things he knows not to in order to force you away from your work; it really means they just need 15 minutes of one-on-one time. It's also helpful to have a special treat they only get when you need 20 minutes to yourself. It can be watching a show on Noggin, a special toy or box of odds and ends they find fascinating, allowing them to bang on pots and pans, setting them up with a chalkboard, whatever, but it has to be something they only get when you really need me time. Once they turn 3 or 4 it helps to set a kitchen timer and explain that you need to work for X amount of time and they get to play with X until the ringer goes off. It makes them feel good to be important, productive, and helpful so if they can shred the lettuce if you are trying to cook dinner, or stir something, or help measure ingredients you will actually finish faster with fewer interruptions.

Make your child a to do list (pictorial for non-readers - free clip art sites are great for this). They love crossing things off or moving the magnet to the done side. My 3 yr old likes to dust, clean the sliding glass door (diluted vinegar and paper towels or washcloth), wash the floor - which is really just playing with sponges and a bowl of soapy water in the kitchen, and other tasks that don't require many steps. Make sure you aren't constantly correcting them and micromanaging or you will take the joy out of it and get much less time to yourself. Brushing the dog and giving him pets is a good chore if your child is good with animals.

Try a Montessori school/daycare a few mornings a week. It will give you time for errands and work and it teaches them self sufficiency, respect for themselves and others, and it prepares them VERY well for math and reading. Some of it will sound kind of batty until you see the results or study it a little better, but it's incredible how quickly it works in making toddlerhood a lot better for parent and child.

Ignore tantrums! I used to get a lot done while showing my child that it wasn't going to work. If you don't react they stop a lot more quickly. There are times this doesn't apply but by the time you need to do this you'll know when to walk away.

Brady has a little backpack with wheels and a handle he likes to drag around. It started when he saw his father and grandfather do it when he gets to go to the airport to see them off. He feels very important with it and sometimes pretends he's going on vacation with it. It has a coloring book, some matchbox cars, books, a finger puppets, and more. In the bottom I keep a change of clothes for him in case of spills or accidents. A few small containers of snacks are in the outside pocket so we can keep going no matter where we are if he gets hungry.

Have a schedule and stick to it as much as possible - also use routines that are consistent for bed time, meals, when a parents leaves, etc. Toddlers need organized worlds, it helps keep the tantrums at a minimum - but make sure there is plenty of down time in there for you and your toddler.

Learn how to get things done in 10 minute increments. When your child is occupied tackle what you can.

Clean up as you go, if you try to do one big cleaning session each week it takes a lot longer, tends to get pushed to the bottom of the list, and it seems more overwhelming.

Use the 10 Box (I picked this up on a website for organization). Don't leave a room that's messy without picking up things for the room that you are headed to or passing. This also works for getting things done; just be happy with lightening the load if you can't complete the project, if you make it more manageable all day, you will be able to knock it out quickly after bedtime because you laid the groundwork all day.

The gift closet. Once your peer group reaches a certain age you will constantly be having to stop and pick up gifts. There will be weddings,birthday parties, baby showers, housewarmings and you will end up spending a lot on last minute gifts and gift bags. Look for sales and 20% off coupons from Bed, Bath and Beyond and other all purpose stores. If you have to be there anyway take an extra 15 minutes to look for deals on Leap Frog or other educational and gender neutral toys, candles, gift baskets, all in one layette sets, whatever fits your budget and the gift giving habits of your friends. I also keep a few bottles of wine so I don't have to pick anything up for dinner parties.

Not that I would ever do this <wink, wink> but if you find yourself getting a lot of things you will never use or you know your child won't play with for long, simply stick it in the gift closet with the card taped to it so you don't give it back to the giver. Clean it out once a year and donate leftovers that you wouldn't give to charity. This of course doesn't apply if it comes with a gift receipt.

If your child falls asleep in the car you can catch up on reading, clean out your wallet, clean out the car, etc. Obviously you need to stay with them and keep the engine running for temperature control on hot or cold days - don't do this in the garage with the door closed!

Don't stress yourself out too much - while the first 5 years can be maddening; they are the most innocent, joyful, and loving years you will have. Enjoy the silly sentences and words they use (elevator/alligator), the discovery of something they've never seen, and all of the hugs, kisses, and smiles you can get - that's the parent paycheck.

You're going to have to get used to some chaos and learn to laugh when things get ridiculous. Make sure you prioritize and get rid of some items that take a lot of time without a lot of pay-off. You can't get these years back make sure you schedule time to enjoy the kids!

From a Mother of one 3 year old boy, step-mother of 2.

Stephanie Schiff Virginia Beach, VA