From personal experience, I highly recommend against giving guests wine, Travel Boggle and a knife, unless you are prepared to reap the whirlwind.

Petrie, that is. Talk about your swinging dinner parties. When the hostess ends up doing the Mambo in the living room, you know you’ve invited the right fun-loving crowd.

I find that the party-going crowd I invite tend not to come to parties without plenty of notice - like a month or more.

Even then, they sometimes don’t show…or even respond to my invitation. I know a lot of them lead busy lives, but an email would be nice.

There’s only so many “Travel Boggles” one can keep on hand. I’d feel like a distribution center before long.

So, my advice is to be a better guest - even if you have no interest in coming - would be to respond accordingly and let the host know.

It’s just a cool thing to do.

(I’ll have that cheese to go with the wine, now.)

Great tips. Could have used them in my shy geek career.

Here are a few of my favorites for happy, stress-free socializing:

o Never arrive empty-handed. Even a small gift helps the host feel appreciated, and gives you something to do when arriving, rather than standing with finger in nose. Plus, if you bring something you like, you might get some later! My favorite: European-style drinking chocolate!

o Strive to be interestED, no interestING. It’s harder to do the former (read: “turn off ego and agendas”) but it gets you to the right attitude, which is:

o Always come curious! Genuine curiosity is extremely empowering, and is the best thing to help someone open up (esp. us geeks). This means you have to:

o Be a passion detective: Everyone has something they’re excited about - gaming, chocolate, movies, or the latest innovations in wound care (hey - my wife’s a nurse). Your job, Mr. Phelps, is to find that out. It may take work, and liberal application of great questions (plus maybe alcohol) but it’s very satisfying to see someone light up. Bonuses: They WILL remember you, and you’ll now have a terrific sense of what her interests, which means you can keep an eye out down the road for ways to help her [1] - essential to forming relationships, which is essential to getting your work spread in the world.

o Finally, have a stock set of interested questions that work with anyone, something like “What do you do?”, “What do you like about your work?”, and “What are you reading?” And make sure you THINK ABOUT THE ANSWER. Every job has interesting aspects.

[1] See “How to help people” (http://ideamatt.blogspot.com/2008/01/how-to-help-people.html) for the basic cycle:

1. When meeting someone, come with an attitude of genuine curiosity.
2. Maintain a steady, reliable, and valuable atom/bitstream
3. When you come across something of potential value, share it

Too often especially when a business person goes to a party they’re trying too hard to discreetly conduct business, but usually they’re obvious and obnoxious.

Simply go to the party to enjoy yourself, however look for ways to say something good about the people you meet. Listen to them and act interested and they will actually be more apt to be attracted to you. If they get too boring, excuse yourself to the restroom. It’s a party so make it a game to see how many people you can get to really like you by liking them and not just seeing them as a prospective client.